days and days

2008-03-16T14:13:03Z

and yet, more days.

have a happy one, sir

- eric

my failure as a parent

2007-08-09T16:18:04Z

<click>

i have been reading a recent richard dawkins book, the god delusion, and it has stirred up some evangelist (anti-evangelist? whatever) feelings (atheist pride!), so hang on...

possibly one of the most important things an atheist can do is research the source of religion. religion's universality is one of a theist's most common excuses for the god hypothesis. "why does every human culture believe in some kind of god or pantheon?" as a strict (watch those fucking knuckles, my ruler's made of steel, bitch) evolutionist, i have to admit, that is a good fucking question. what value or purpose does religion actually serve, anyway? if, as darwin and his successors assert, that nature (and natural selection in particular) is the ultimate spendthrift, what reason for something so massively wasteful (in terms of resources), ridiculous (in terms of ease to disprove), and harmful (in terms of encouraging what i call anti-science, or the belief in truth as opposed to the seeking of truth) as religion. i assume it is from a desire to explain this that my lifelong interest in the origin of myths in specific and mythology in general.

(the "curse" of growing up watching cartoons: my mental film loop goes immediately to...

int., a small, neatly kept hut
me: i can't pay the rent!
theist: you must pay the rent!
m: but i can't pay the rent!
t: if you can't pay the rent, you must leave!
m: but i have nowhere to go!
t: (sinister laugh) bwah ha ha!
m: (cries)
t: (sinister laugh cont'd)
dudley doright dawkins bursts in
dudley: i'll pay the rent!)

dawkins (my hero!), in the chapter "the roots of religion," offers many theoretical explanations; the one that really messed me up is this: more than any other (observed) species (so far), humanity depends on memes (societal and cultural rituals, procedures, and other knowledge). this knowledge is fed into us by parents and parental figures (i.e., tribal leaders) during childhood; therefore, the economy of natural selection demands that human children are... gullible. "but the flip side of trusting obedience is slavish gullibility," (dawkins, p. 167). we want to believe what mom and dad tell us - regardless of how much it disturbs our sense of logic or common sense.

okay, so the adult atheist anti-religious agitator part of me has the ammo it needs... but. dawkins mentions the old jesuit boast, "give me the child for his first seven years, and i'll give you the man" and i immediately think of giving up my daughter chloe at the beginning of the year. to a catholic family, no less.

my parents, though both (at least) culturally and locally (i.e., raised by their family) protestant and (again, at least) not atheist, did not raise me to just "believe" anything. investigate, question, experiment, hypothesize; these were the mantra, the rituals i was raised with. for this, i am profoundly grateful. regardless of anything else they did (right or wrong, good or bad), this is what i am most grateful to them for.

if someone like me, someone raised not to blindly follow anything, a scientist, agnostic, (lower case b) buddhist, comes to "faith" (for whatever awful mistake), that's one thing; but to pass that shit on to a child, to infect the one person in the world that should matter the most with this sort of irrationality... it is simply the worst thing you can do for the species. from an existentialist, personal point of view, it is even worse: i would call the religious indoctrination of a child the ideal way to become an existentialist anti-hero, an example of the very worst a human being can be. the only important thing i had to pass on to both my daughters i...

didn't. so, if either of you ever read this: i am sorry. would that i could...

anyway. if this entry offends you: good. you and your kind have been running things for far, far to long. too many of my ancestors have been burned, hung, crucified, starved, and ridiculed. you want me to have respect for your particular set of insanities?

here is my compromise: i promise to treat every religion fairly, with scientific rigor and logical mercilessness. your kind started a war long, long ago; don't complain to me when i shoot back.

romantic fiction?

2007-06-23T16:02:35Z

are the cliches of true love faintly ridiculous because no one really believes them, or because we all yearn for them to apply to us and don't think they will? does anyone really think they will meet someone they will spend the rest of their lives with?

or are we all fucked? dreaming of something impossible, unknowable?

happy saturday.

nothing's free in this world, baby

2007-06-22T20:33:20Z

i don't believe in free will. not sure i ever have.

i am most certainly not saying i believe in some universal consciousness or higher power; don't misunderstand me.

do i believe, you may then ask, in some sort of skinneristic learned-behaviour determinism?

not sure. i just know the very idea of free will seems so... silly, you know? like all the other silly bullshit myths p & m tell us while we're growing up, like the easter bunny, democracy, santa, jesus, and good and evil...

eric shallop

days and days

my failure as a parent

romantic fiction?

nothing's free in this world, baby